Getting ready to write… I lock myself away, light the candle but find the candle first, then find the matches. I read that lighting a candle each time you write helps inspire creativity. Oh yea, where’s my phone? I don’t want any calls to disturb me. I have filled my water and warmed my tea. And now, time to write a page for my book… But no thoughts form and organize around my book project. Instead, words begin flowing in a different direction.
My cousin died last night. John had endured a 3 ½ year battle with cancer. Last week, in the early morning hours, John was restless enough to wake his wife Vicki, who asked what he was doing. He said, “Gettin’ ready.” And she said “To Go?” He said “Yah.” Vicki was bravely preparing her own heart for what was inevitable, and was thankful that John too was aware the time was nearing. He was preparing to let go of all that bound him in this life, the pain, the past, even friends and family, so that he could freely move into death, a new life.
I wonder how I would live if I had a set date, an end in sight when I knew I would draw my last breath. Would I still be in the process of writing my book, or would it be published and in the hands of readers right now? Would I have played more and worried less? Would I have used my strength to love more?
Getting ready…. To write, to live, to die, to work, to play, to love.
Isn’t getting ready all about a creating something of meaning?
Like sharing love in a relationship?
Writing a collection of words that just might touch someone?
Reaching out to a friend or relative that you haven’t seen in a long time?
Dying a good death?
Maybe awareness is another word for getting ready. When we are aware of the present moment and all it holds, we can create meaning.
I read about a woman, who on her death bed, said that cancer saved her life. Vicki and John found meaning in their relationship as they battled cancer together, helping them create possibly the best years of their married life. As writer Joyce Rupp says, “Even the darkness contains pieces of light.”
We can find grace in any situation if we are willing to look. Today, I find God’s grace in the words on a page, not what I was getting ready to write, but nonetheless important and full of meaning. We must always save space for how God decides to show up.
Blessings and Peace to John and to his wife Vicki and thanks for walking courageously on a difficult path and rising victoriously in life and death. Today, my candle burns for the love you shared that isn’t diminished by death but is carried on in human hearts and will forever be a gift that created a life of meaning.