Re-invent and Integrate. These are the two words my husband talked about as an intention for the new year.
In the fifteen years I have been working for myself, I have re-inventing myself countless times. Looking back, I now see that my own re-invention has often been to the detriment of integration. When things didn’t happen in my time frame, I would jump into something new, hoping that would bring me the peace I was looking for. It seems I was always looking for the missing piece, the “job title”, the success that would make me complete. Parts of the real me have always been visible, and yet when things got too scary, or I felt too vulnerable, I would pull back, and re-invent myself again in the effort to not allow too much of me to show.
Integration means to combine into a whole. Because I have been so impatient with myself, I never stopped DOING, long enough to see my wholeness, much less celebrate who I am.
I was searching for an answer outside of myself. What I have recognized is the more time I spend in quiet, connecting to the Divinity within me, the more the pieces of me line up, and I can see the whole me. Even with my shortcomings, I am complete when I sit in the presence of infinite love. I am already everything I need to be.
So now I am focusing on integrating the lessons that have come my way over the years. I am letting go of the need to re-invent myself to fit into some sort of success formula, and allow the total authentic me to shine. Even my faults fit into the Divine plan, because my challenges have given me the avenue to express myself, and connect to those who struggle with similar struggles. I am allowing my art to guide me, to see myself in the process of becoming more and more myself, integrating and recognizing the talents that have been in me all along. Now I get to hone them by paying attention.
Have you been searching outside of yourself for that piece that you think might be missing? Look no further. Come home to yourself, be in connection to the infinite love that created you, and see how amazing you truly are. Your wholeness comes from within, when you believe and trust that your authentic self is the gift the world needs now, more than ever.