When I realize that the last time I blogged was two weeks ago, and I think of all that has taken place in two weeks, I am at first amazed at how fast the time disappeared, and then I am saddened by all the little intuitive writing hits that came and went without anything to show for it.
I have been busy taking a little time off for family, and then traveling for a week throughout the midwest with my middle daughter on a college search. It was great to spend 1700 miles with just one daughter, listening to her excitement and trepidation about the future, and watching her make good choices about where she might want to spend her college career. I was amazed at her own intuitiveness when she said that the people at one college were “on edge” and we later came to find out from a friend of mine that the particular college in question had the highest suicide rate in the midwest. Needless to say, she won’t be applying for school there.
Being in rhythm with my daughter took me out of my own flow of writing. We were busy traveling, and then visiting friends, so I didn’t always find the time to be present to my writing. I have not yet learned the art of excusing myself when the moment hits to record a few key sentences to return to at a later time.
Yet, I am not going to beat myself up. That is my usual pattern, to be mad at myself for not being perfect. I have to trust in the rhythm that is bigger than me, that lets me know that all the thoughts I have toward my book, and all the visualization of seeing my book completed is moving me closer to my dream, even though I can’t see physical evidence all the time. Just like my daughter, I too am getting ready for a change. She has been changing and growing all along, moving herself closer to the day when she will leave for college just like her older sister. And I too am growing and changing, moving myself closer to being the writer I want to be, with a completed book in hand. I believe I learned a little bit how to be in the moment and enjoy the chatter of a 17 year old talk about the joys of discovering who she wants to be.
The world keeps rolling, and even if I don’t write about every minute of it, I know that I am still in the flow of grace and growth, and that good things come to those who are persistent enough to not give up on their dreams.